Some days I wake up and still can’t believe that I live in Germany. The streets, the sounds, the rhythm of daily life,they are all so different from what I once called home. And while there’s a quiet excitement in that, there’s also a tenderness in admitting how difficult it has been to truly to blend in.

I am beyond grateful for the love and support around me. My partner’s patience, our family’s encouragement, cheery from afar, and the gentle check-ins from friends remind me that I’m not walking this path alone which I am so grateful for the kind way of supporting me in my decision journey. Yet, despite all this warmth, there are still moments when I feel like a stranger, not only in this country, but sometimes even in my own skin.

It’s in the small things. Hesitating before I speak German, worrying about whether I sound “right.” Standing in a room full of people and noticing how naturally they move, while I quietly remind myself to breathe. Wanting so much to belong, but not always knowing how.

And then, there are the softer moments that make it all feel lighter …a kind smile from a stranger, laughter with my partner at the end of a long day, or the comfort of a familiar meal cooked in our kitchen. These are the pieces that slowly stitch themselves into something that feels like home.

I’m learning that belonging doesn’t come all at once. It’s more like a gentle unfolding…in patience, in practice, in allowing myself to simply be where I am, without rushing to “belong .”

So tonight, as I sit with these thoughts, I choose to be gentle with myself. To remember that even in the difficulty, there is beauty. That every step, no matter how small, is still a step forward.

P.s: Thank you for all the kind people I’ve met through my life and encouraged me to be more brave to take such a huge step towards my life and say F… it! Just do it! The fear became less and less, so many greetings from Germany ( y’all know who you are ;D ).

-Jessie